Wednesday, October 15, 2008

So We've come to the end of the road

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty....... Anyone who reads this knows who they are anyway..... LOL*

Ok, before I had posted about a certain person who was one of my closest friends who moved to North Carolina and how we have been drifting apart recently, well in the last 4 days it was like an ice shoot and we were driving a bobsled since it went downhill so fast..

so here it is: Back in May my BFF said to me "Hey my godfather has a time share in Vegas, he offered it to us for my birthday...." so YAY Vegas here we come..

While talking to another friend about seeing NKOTB she said "OH they are gonna be in Vegas on October 11 we should totally go" so I was like "well, i needed to talk to you anyway, Britt wants to go to Vegas for her birthday and we are just happening to go on October 10-13 so we will be there for NKOTB"

While on the phone with her, she IMs her friend in NC and invites them and a certain person we all know and most don't love. All of a sudden they are coming to Vegas as well.

2 days later i get a message from NC friend saying " I can't go to Vegas, I have a wedding to go to"....

Fast forward to October 11... I txt certain friend in NC saying "Have fun at your wedding" and I get this in reply "What are you talking about?" sounds fishy doesn't it, so I text him "you said you had a wedding to go to and that's why you couldn't come to Britt's birthday in Vegas" his reply "oh i forgot I told you about that" uhhhh extremely fishy if you ask me...... I ask him straight out "Is there an actual wedding?" which i get a pix of the invitation in reply and this message "see this is why we can't be friends anymore.. You never trust me"

Was I wrong to wonder if there was even a wedding? Maybe I should have been more trusting.

Fast forward to Oct 15. he says that's i can no longer relate to him and we are done.. Fine, so I ask him for a picture I gave him back. It was my brothers picture (my bro died when I was 16) and I gave to to this guy who i thought was my best friend and always would be, and that he was like another brother to me..... I said that if we weren't friends than I wanted the picture back and I would gladly reimburse him any shipping costs... Now all of a sudden he has to "think things over" and "excess his priorities and mull things over...."

WTF............. I am so confused right now, and I think the worst part is that I really don't care what he decides as long as I get my picture back..... I mean we haven't had much contact in over a year and hardly talk or see each other, so its not like we had a great friendship anyway..... But was I wrong to not trust him about the wedding? Was I wrong to ask for my picture back? I really need advice on this....


Sunday, October 5, 2008

What is wrong with me?


This blog is going to be a rant from a scorned women who has had her heartbroken to many damn times

What the hell is wrong with me? Am I that ugly? Have that bad of a personality? I don't understand why I can't seem to find anybody willing to take a chance on me.  

Every time I fall for a guy I am too much of a chicken shit to do anything about it so I am stuck watching all of my friends get boyfriends/girlfriends and get married and have kids, while I am still stuck on a guy who has proven time and time again that he does not want me.. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

I know I might not be the prettiest thing in the world. I am no Heidi Klum but I don't think I am that ugly either.  Is it my personality? Do I come on to strong? I don't know but I wish to God that I could change whatever it is that makes guys not want to even approach me.

I watch a ton of romance movies, I guess one could say that it is my favorite genre of movies.  Is it to much to ask for a guy who treats me like I am a princess, to want the kind of guy you see in the movies? I didn't think it was but now I am beginning to think I was dumb for even thinking a guy like that exists.  

I have thought that 2 guys in particular liked me for a long time, and it turns out neither of them did.  I am just so sick of being alone.

Right now I have a bad cold/flu, and all i want is someone to want to take care of me. My dad is sick and it has me worried, and all I want is someone to be here and hold me while I cry and have them tell me that everything is going to be alright and that they will be there to take care of me and to pick me up when things go wrong. I don't have anybody like that and it hurts so much.

Sometimes I just don't even want to be around........ I can't take much more

Wednesday, October 1, 2008


OK, I know I've already posted today but I have somethings that I need to get off my chest.

What is a friend? I thought it was someone who would be with you through absolutely everything and be the one person you could count on. I either have a dumb idea about what a friend is or i am just lousy and picking them.

I have my two best friends. These two know who they are and have been with me through pretty much everything. I met one of these people in my first week of college. We got a long great and when it came time to decide on roommates for next year both of us were hesitant to pick each other for fear that we wouldn't be able to get along, well it became an necessity for us to pick roommates or not get a room so we decided that we were would room together, best decision for us, for almost 8 years later we all still as close as sisters.

the other one I met when I was a junior in college.  he is one of the best guys that I know. If I ever had a problem I know that he would be down here in flash to do whatever I needed. He listens to me ramble and helps me through all of my problems and vice versa.  We make an effort to talk and to see each other which is how lasting friendships are formed.  

They say friends are like family, and with those two i couldn't have asked for better family.

Than there are the friends who I thought would be there till the end. Throughout college I called these two my best friends. One I met on prom night and our friendship quickly became great even though we went to different colleges. After senior year though I realized we weren't actually friends. When I decided to go away to school I lost almost all of my friends from home. I just found that I didn't connect with them anymore. I was bored sitting around my house all by myself and this friend felt the same way, so we used each other for company when we were home on breaks. OF course i went and visited her at school a few times but I began to realize not once did she even make the effort to come up and visit me or to see my dorm or campus. Her boyfriend at the time had made the effort why couldn't she. She didn't really care about me, she just wanted something to do with someone. needless to say we don't talk anymore.

Then there is a certain someone who is say fell into the vortex that is North Carolina. We were closer than close, like brother and sister. I could tell him anything, but after graduation things began to change. It was great for awhile and than when he moved to NC things began to change. No longer was I that important to him, he now could go 6-9 months without speaking to me. I would call him and get no call back, and I would have to hear about his life from a mutual friend. I became very very resentful of this mutual friend and their friendship, it seemed like to me that he chose her over me. I just don't feel like we know each other at all anymore. I mean I bet you he couldn't name my favorite baseball player or my favorite movie anymore.. I know nothing about him either.

So the question is, is this my fault? Do I have too high of standards for friends? am I too demanding? I just don't know. All I know is that I feel alone a lot and I wish to hell that I didn't!

Is there anyone alive out there? Can anyone hear me?

Well here I am trying to get into blogging. I tried it once on live journal but I never seemed to keep it up, lets see if this goes any better.

This blog will manly focus on what is going on this week and the only thing that is important to me this week is the Postseason. I can not tell you how happy I am that for the first time in 13 years the demon evil empire will not be in the post season. I hope that Jeter and ARod are polishing up their golf swings because they are going to need it. :)

So tonight is the first game of the ALDS. Angles vs Red Sox. Now I am hoping beyond hope that my sox can pull this off, its going to take a whole lotta effort and the fact that they need to be healthy.

They especially need this man to be on his game. Josh Beckett is the ACE of the staff and not to mention the hottest thing in baseball. After a great season last year he has had to battle injury after injury this year, and just finally when he is getting back to the Beckett that we all know and love, he pulls an oblique muscle... :( Josh is probably the most dominate pitcher in post season history. In 2003 while play for the Florida Marlins he pitched a complete game shut out on three days rest to win the world series against the yankees and becoming the World Series MVP. He has an ERA under 2.00 post season and is just dead sexy. If the Sox have a chance to win its going to be because this guy is healthy. Yesterday he pitched a 60 pitch side session where everything felt good and he felt no pain. Thats a great sign. Lester and Dice K in games 1 and 2 respectively and Josh Beckett in game 3. We have a chance

Another player that the Red Sox need to be healthy and playing is Mike Lowell. As last years World Series MVP he has battled injury after injury this years as well. He has a torn born in his hip that is keeping him from being able to run down bunts and produce good at bats. His average is not what it was last year and he has not hit nearly as many homeruns but I am confident in his ability. He took batting practice yesterday and he was a good sign, he felt no pain or ripping in his hip. He should be ready to play tonights game, if he is healthy he will be unbeatable

We need more than just our injured guys to come back. We need our guys who have been producing all year to keep doing what they were doing.

Dustin Pedroia or as he is better known in Boston as either MVPedroia or Pedroia the Destroyer is clearly the MVP of not only the AL (he deserves that award. YOU SUCH MAUER) and of the Red Sox this little guy has delivered game after game. At 5'9 many of the announcers like to talk about what a big swing such a little guy has. Even the manager of the ChiSox says that Pedroia scares him. He leads the league in doubles, runs, hits and multiple hit games and is only second in the AL in BA with a .324. Last April and May he was batting .150 and there was call to send him back down to the minors than all of a sudden in June '07 he started swining his bat and never looked back. In his rookie year he wins The World Series and Rookie of the Year. Pedroia is the MVP of the Red Sox. When he is on they win.

Last but not least the final player the Red Sox need to be on in order to advance this SOXtober is:

JON LESTER. This is probably one of the greatest stories in MLB (besides Josh Hamilton). Picture this its July of 2006 and you find out that you have Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma. You leave the team and go for Chemo and you come back in August of 2007 pitch a few games and than pitch the clinching game in the World Series. Fast Forward to May 2007 in your first full season after coming back from Cancer you pitch a No Hitter. Jon Lester has become the Ace in the absence of Josh Beckett and Curt Schilling. He is going tonight against Lackey. Can he handle it? he has proven that he can!

With the post season underway I am making my predictions Red Sox in 4 in the ALDS and than a Red Sox vs. Rays ALCS with the Red Sox winning in 7 (in true Boston style) and than a Red Sox vs Chi Cubs in WS......... What are your predictions?